Friday, May 8, 2009

Upwards and onwards...

Baby steps...
Once around the building...it felt really good to be OUT. Now I'll work on the food...I use food too, Cristina. It's like I'm punishing myself so I stay the way I am, instead of working hard to be the way I want to be.
and Lisette...I think I'm not talking about what you want me to be. I'm guarded now...I didn't used to be. I trusted...everything, always and I never measured up. I was made to feel inferior, only I never said anything or complained...I just tried harder. But I just didn't know the reasons and you're right, I probably still don't. I only have one side of that story...but it's the only side I was told. I let go of that a long time ago...I'm now haunted by my actions. That's where my guilt and shame come from...and the self-sabotage. But no more...

3 comments:

Gloria said...

Happy Mother's Day!

Have a good weekend and do something for yourself without guilt, you deserve it.

Ms. L before I resigned from my job (due to lupus) I worked for the state, I am a nurse with a legal background and the clients I had came from every walk of life.

I could hear you in that last post and I plan to sit down and email you a private letter in the very near future.

Take care.

Crafty Christina said...

Whatever it is, you'll get through! Just remind yourself that regardless of whatever mistake you made, you're HUMAN. We all make mistakes and we can and should forgive ourselves. Punishing yourself doesn't make it better. Just keep reminding yourself that you're a good person. You deserve to be happy.

Lisette said...

okay, i don't think we're on the same page! lol but as long as you're moving forward from it that's all that matters. now, back to mothers day, does that event have anything to do with it? lol